A New Baby Brings Difficulties As Well As Joy

How wonderful. You’ve become parents for the first time, and you gaze lovingly at the little baby that you hold in your arms.

Then, as every parent discovers, your little bundle of delight can bring many difficulties as well as much joy. The new responsibility of parenthood brings with it a massive transformation in day-to-day living as you move into the ‘family’ arena. And one thing is certain, your day-to-day routine as a couple is gone forever. Indeed, for a while, you may even feel that the chances of having any semblance of order in your life again are fairly remote.

And how are you going to find time for each other; that joyous ‘couple time’ that you enjoy and treasure so much? Is that gone forever too?

Take heart and remember this. Any couple, in a happy relationship, will adjust to a baby sharing their lives and reap the rewards of a joyous family life. As parents, you will modify your life, because you’ve been on this earth for many years and can draw on your experiences; your baby will adapt because, with your love, caring and help, it will be able to do so. Always bear in mind that your baby has far greater adjustments to make than you do. In fact, he/she is actually doing 99.9% of the adjusting. This tiny scrap of humanity, hitherto automatically sheltered and fed in a world of darkness, safety and security has been thrust into an unknown world - a world that is alien to it - and has to learn how to live in a totally different way in a foreign environment. Wow, that’s scary.

For a while then, baby will need a great deal of attention. I’m not suggesting, for one moment, that baby will not always require a lot of your time. I’m saying that it usually gets easier when a routine has been developed. Until then, your relationship and ‘couple time’ will be forced into second place. This does not mean, however, that it is any the less important. On the contrary, it is vitally important: for you as individuals, as a couple, and as the solid foundation of a happy family life.

Therefore, until life takes on some form of ‘normality’ again, it’s imperative that you make every little ‘couple’ moment count. Enjoy hugs, kisses, shared feelings and responsibilities. And humour. When you can laugh at things, it lightens and brightens even the darkest, most exhausting times. And there’s no getting away from it, a baby can be very exhausting.

So, one evening a week, when baby’s happily snoozing, how about telephoning the local takeaway and arranging to have supper delivered? Open a bottle of wine, turn down the lights (so that you can’t see the dust) and ….. enjoy this time. It’s yours. You deserve it.

More hints and tips on relationships and family life can be found at www.lovelifelines.com.

Annie Roy-Barker is a psychotherapist and leading relationship coach, with an extraordinary ability to help you resolve your personal and relationship difficulties. Annie will motivate, guide and inspire you with her incredible techniques for enhancing your relationship, spicing up your love life, or getting your loved one back after a break up. Annie’s mission is your happiness and helping you get your love life right on line.